Let’s consider wholeness that state of being that includes both our light and our dark sides (and any of the-shades-of-grey sides you might stumble upon). On the day that dawns when we can breathe a sigh of relief and relax into the truth of being both brilliant and highly fallible, we might say we have found our wholeness.
Now, we can be both the leading-edge, grandest contribution to the universe and the smallest, and growing smaller grain of sand in the universe. We can be wildly generous sometimes and stingy some other times. We can be gentle and loving sometimes and cold and distant some other times. On and on. You get the idea. We can be the living paradox we are.
No longer spending untold energy on the masks of pretense or the games of deception, manipulation, and control that are necessary to hold off the truth that we are both dark and light, we generally feel a huge influx of strength, and time, and new perspective. And humility. Humility might be our best sign that wholeness has arrived. It’s hard to feel arrogant about much of anything once you’ve returned your short comings to the fold. Though you might also feel that “spectacular” describes the new you very aptly.
Another good clue that you have reclaimed your whole self is the new found understanding that all those things you did when you were young and stupid (yesterday), were actually time well spent. They are the entry requirement for the tender heart and the beautiful soft eyes that come with wholeness. Once transformed from dark to light, they symbolize your proudest accomplishments.
All the fears that drove those grand accomplishments of lies, betrayals, or victimhooded-ness begin to drop away. Self pity, rage, guilt, shame all begin to meander off. In their place, you may find the exhilaration of the grand adventure of being vibrantly alive. You might feel the freedom of your personality un-impeded by wounds from the past. You might be able to enjoy the free-flow of your own emotions. You might notice your new choices feel different from your old choices.